According to Dr. Phil, the chances of your child being abducted by a predator is .0003%. Tell your child he/she has more of a chance of being bit by a shark! Like teaching our kids to "Stop, drop and Roll," in case of a fire, self defense is something we hope they never have to use, BUT should know just in case! Remember; prevention and preparedness is critical to your child's safety. 90% of self-defense is awareness! Talk to your children in a non-fearful manner, role-play with them different scenarios, and have them take a self-defense class. The Martial Arts is a wonderful way to learn confidence, self-defense and it provides continual practice. IF your child is not interested in the Martial Arts, make sure they take a self-defense class once a year and always ROLE-PLAY and practice with them. Here are some of the points we emphasize in our class:

1) Don't walk alone and NEVER walk with traffic!
2) Don't stop and listen to a stranger!
3) Your voice is your biggest weapon, noise attracts attention!
4) Your Strongest weapons are your legs. If you can't run away, then drop to the ground and have a self-defense temper tantrum.

A great book to read is, Raising Kids Who Can Protect Themselves, by Debbie and Mike Gardner
It's on my LINKS page or you can get it on AMAZON.com

One of the most frequent questions I am asked after teaching a self-defense class is, How can I reinforce the lesson of verbal defense at home? Relational bullying is most common and includes; teasing, name calling, picking on, laughing at, excluding, bossiness, manipulation, and gossip. Physical aggression involves pushing, hitting, cutting in line, stealing from, biting etc. Like any lesson, this information can be reinforced through parent-child communication and role playing.
A person's "Secret weapon" is always confidence. Bullies don't pick on confident people. Studies have found that role-playing increases a child's confidence level and self esteem by giving them options and appropriate responses. They then are able to diffuse a situation should it arise.
Remind your child that the key to keeping their power, is NOT TO REACT. Don't show emotion and NEVER show attitude. One of the most powerless words an individual can use is "Whatever!" It wreaks of attitude and only attracts more. Smile, look the bully in the eye and use one of these Bully Buster techniques:
1. Ignore the bully
2. Walk away
3. Agree with the bully; a response such as, "Ok, sure!"
4. Change the subject and say something nice
5. Refuse to fight, name call or argue
6. Go tell an adult if your bully busters are not working

After discussing several scenarios, it’s time to reinforce the response your child should take. They must not hesitate and they must practice using their voices. Your child’s voice is their biggest weapon! The louder the better, noise attracts attention!
Remind them that smaller people can back off larger people just with their voices. Practice and see! Remember the arms length rule- (Keep bullies two arm lengths away and strangers or vehicles, 4 arm lengths away.)

Here is a list of books I recommend for parents to read and also books that can be read to children to increase their awareness and present them with options:

Allan L. Beane Protect Your Child From Bullying: Expert Advice to Help Recognize, Prevent, And Stop Bullying Before Your Child Gets Hurt.”

Coloroso, Barbara. The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander. Harper Resource, 2004

Rosalind Wiseman. Queen Bees and Wannabees

Criswell, Patti. Stand Up for Yourself and Your Friends: American Girl (K-6th grades)

Karen Gedig Burnett “Simon’s Hook: A Story About Teases and Put-Downs.” (K-5th grades)

Ludwig, Trudy. 2 great books: My Secret Bully, Just Kidding. (K-5th grades)

It’s that time of the year when our sons and daughters are leaving for college. As I sat in my son’s University Parent-student orientation, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that all freshmen are required to take an on-line alcohol tutorial and assessment course. Our speaker went over the dangers of alcohol, partying and of course the security measures that are set in place for the campus as well as the dorms. What they didn’t mention was that most college rapes occur the first three months of school due to pledging and partying. Date and acquaintance rapes account for over 90% of college sexual assaults and 99% of the time alcohol is a factor. How do I know this? The statistics show it, but sadly I hear it all the time in my classes. Students tell me stories of going to parties, drinking too much and being forced to have sex. College freshmen are especially vulnerable because of their new found freedom. Most women tell me they didn’t report it because they didn’t want their parents to know they had been drinking! Many tell me they were on a date, had too much to drink and believed it was their fault! So how do we educate and prepare our daughters for college? Talk to them. Get them information they can read on date and acquaintance rape. Have them take a self-defense class where these issues will be discussed. Many, if not all college campuses offer self-defense classes for little or no money. The problem is that many colleges don’t have the funding right now to offer them on regular bases. I just checked my son’s college website and they have not had a posting for a class since last April. Parents, empower your student with knowledge, make them aware. Yes, bad stuff happens to guys as well. Have them take a self defense class before they leave for college. Take the class with them; it would be a fun thing to do before they leave the nest. Don’t let your child fall in to the trap of “it will never happen to me,” or “I don’t have time to take a self-defense class this semester.” Remember, they will be surrounded with invitations to party and meet people. Send them with the best defensive weapons they can carry, knowledge and awareness!